One of the first things interviewers and clients often ask me is, “What qualifies you, Victorya Rogers, to write a book called THE AUTOMATIC 2nd DATE? Quite simply I have truly lived all my secrets and have now been happily married for over 10 years. I’ve been there, done that. These secrets work and they can work for you! Not only can you definitely achieve many 2nd dates, you can also find a “keeper” following my advice.
Growing up, I was definitely not a “natural” at dating. I was the “buddy” in school, not the girlfriend. In fact I didn’t have my first real “boyfriend” (one who would let others know we were dating) until I was 21. Now that was depressing! Oh well, I got my bachelor’s degree (academically speaking) and by 23, after a thrilling, major job promotion to Hollywood talent agent, I was ready for a dramatic change in my love life as well! I mean I was around all these celebrities, attending movie premieres, award shows and concerts and I wanted some hot date taking me to these events rather than just a colleague. So I read every dating book I could find plus observed the movie stars, actresses and models around me to see what their secrets were (aside from their natural beauty and my lack of it).
Then it happened! I learned the look, the walk and the talk to attract a man. FINALLY men started asking me out and not just for first dates. Call back for 2nd dates became automatic. I had a track record of 98 of 100 men asking me out for that second date. Why? Because I finally had figured out the secrets of dating well and I now enjoy teaching those secrets to you.
In Automatic 2nd Date I go into detail on many dating secrets for finding, attracting and getting first dates that lead to 2nd dates. To get you on your way to dating bliss, here are my top 3 secrets to getting that 2nd date—the 3 L’s I call them. They are simply “Look, Listen, Laugh!” All you need to do is look at him, listen to him and laugh with him.
Look at your date! Deliberately look your man directly in the eye when speaking and listening. I’m not talking about a creepy, unending stare, rather the natural courteous act of connecting with another human being by a meeting of the eyes. Your eyes will communicate you’re glad he exists and he’s worthy of your attention.
Listen to your date! Make the first date all about your man by drawing him out. Ask him lots of questions and LISTEN to his answers about his interests, job, background, family, dreams, hobbies, likes and dislikes. As you listen to his answers to your questions, a natural conversation will flow as follow-up questions will come easily to mind.
Laugh with your date! Your date doesn’t have to be the funniest man alive, but if he says something funny, it won’t hurt you to laugh with him. I’m not talking a phony hysterical outburst, rather merely show you enjoy his company and his stories by chuckling with him.
It’s the 3 L’s--Look, Listen and Laugh. On every first date, in fact on all your dates, Look at him, Listen to him and Laugh with him and your date will feel heard, understood and suddenly interested in you! With these 3 L’s make any first date all about your date, and you’ll put your man at ease and leave him wanting to spend more time with you and soon! Even if you are not yet convinced you are attracted to your man, still make the date about him so you can find out for sure. As you draw him out and get to know more about him, you may discover you like him a lot more than you initially thought. There is always more to a person than looks and first impressions.
So give you and your man a chance to get past first impressions by giving him the gift of your attention. After all, you’ve agreed to spend a carved out amount of time with this individual, so follow through and give him your undivided attention. You’re man will enjoy himself (how could he not when he’s discussing his favorite subject—himself!) and you’ll find out if he matches “your list” for an ideal mate. The 3 L’s help you get there. Look, Listen and Laugh and soon you will have your “Automatic 2nd Date!”
Victorya Michaels Rogers
Author of The Automatic 2nd Date
(Howard Books, a div. of Simon & Schuster ISBN#978-1-4165-4382-4)
And host of www.mantokeep.com