Well, Jillian pick Ed last night over Reid and Kiptyn. They appear head over heals in love on both the finale and the “After the Rose” episode of the Bachelorette. In fact they already have plans to marry within 12 months and she is moving to Chicago to move in with Ed to begin their life together immediately. But will they last? Though we all probably cheer this adorable couple on, odds AGAINST them, aside from the history that only 1 of the couples from the history of the Bachelor and Bachelorette series have made it down the aisle (worse than the national average of love and marraige.  Right now love is definitely in the air for them as they are giddie and on cloud 9, but they have not stood the test of time. PLUS rushed into sex and a lot of it according to their announcement on air last night (“and we can’t get enough”) and after just 2 months of spending a total of perhaps 50 hours together and then a few months of secrets get togethers to keep the public from finding out, they are moving in together. The problem with jumping into sex is that the relationship becomes about addiction to each other and chemistry and not about your mutual qualities and respect for one another. So of course they feel in love right now when it’s exciting and national news and secretive (now public) and of course the chemistry of sex. But the euphoria goes away. Will there be enough between them to last? Perhaps what I’m most disappointed about is that they are rushing to move in together. Statistically couples who live together first has a smaller chance of getting married PLUS those who do get married show a higher divorce rate than those who didn’t live together first. Here’s to hoping Jillian and Ed go the distance, but cautioning my readers who are looking for love that last to not follow their example.  

So true to life is the blog I read today by Michael Hyatt CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. “On Stupid Decision Away.” Read his blog, it is very wise. This particular blog was about the tragic murder of football quarterback star Steve McNair of the Titans who was guns down in his sleep by his 20 year old mistress who then shot herself. A lifetime of legacy was wiped away in an instant because he made a stupid decision to flirt with a young waitress, then another stupid decision to begin an affair and cheat on his wife, then a few months later he was dead.

I coach women on relationships. My passion is to help them make better choices in relationships. What would my advice have been to that 20 year old mistress? I would have told her “What are you THINKING? He married. He’s NOT going to leave his wife for you.” Her friends reported that she feared he was going to leave her for another women (forgetting that he also had a wife) and she was extremely depressed.

Again, what was she doing with a married man? Ladies it is NEVER okay to have an affair with a married man. In her case it was one FATAL mistake. And I don’t care how much the man says “I’m going to leave her, I’m just trying to work out the details.” He’s NOT going to leave and besides, if he cheats on HER, he’ll eventually cheat on you, period!

We don’t know enough about the history of the young lady who killed McNair,  such as if she had a history of depression or mental illness or drug use. What we do know is that both she and McNair both began their tragedy with ONE FATAL MISTAKE. We can all sober up and learn a lesson here. THINK before you act. Oh if only everyone would remember Newton’s Third Law “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”

No on lives to themselves and no one dies to themselves. There is another huge side to this tragedy of McNair’s death–he leaves behind a wife and 4 sons who were unaware of his affair. They will spend a lifetime remembering that fatal mistake their father made that took him away from them. All his “hero” legacy as a football star and good father was wipe away in an instant from ONE fatal mistake. Don’t let that happen to your legacy!

 If you want to make wiser choices, read Proverbs everyday (there’s 31 chapters in this Old Testament book, so just read the “date” each day) and begin making wiser, more informed and better choices.

And ladies, if you learn to make better choices in love and life, you CAN life the life of your dreams!

Okay ladies, tonight, officially I begin my PhD program. With fear and trepidation I embark on getting my doctorate so I can be even more equipped to help you achieve the lives of your dreams. I will still actively be coaching my clients and writing my books and blogs, I’ll just be getting better and better for you. Pray for me girls… I’m hitting the books in a major way for the first time in 12 years (since my Master’s program). Exciting thus far. First order of business is diving into the major world of research–in depth research–which is wonderful because I can gain more and more insight into ways to help each and every one of you.

Keep up with my new online TV SHOW at Victorya.TV. Last night we covered the Michael Jackson drug addiction that lead to his demise, the affair of Governor Sanford and the “firing” of a Young and the Restless star over refusal to do a gay kiss. Check it out.

This is my new favorite book! WHAT TO DO ON THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE shows you how to handle your crisis right now. Inspired by King David (1 Samuel 30) and his worst day–he returned from a 3 day battle to find his wife and kids kidnapped, his home burned to the ground and financially bankrupt all in ONE day. Now that’s a bad day. To make matters worse, by the end of the day his army wanted to kill him for it because they were in the same boat. King David did TEN things to survive this terrible day and his wisdom and insight is exactly what so many of us need during our current crisis! This is a PERFECT gift and must read for anyone going through a terrible time–be it financially, relationally or physically. My only hope is that Brian Zahnd expands this book (the size of THE PRAYER OF JABEZ) into a full on Bible Study so we can dive into this insight even more.

Happy Mothers Day! :You are so appreciated (even if your kids don’t tell you.) And single moms with young kids who don’t have daddy around to remind them to honor you today, on behalf of all your kids let me say THANK YOU.

Dr. Laura has a new book I saw at the bookstore yesterday called “In Praise of Stay At Home Moms“. Sounds like a great and much needed book. If you have the privilege of staying at home and raising your kids, rush out and get this book today!

And Moms, lastly, I went to church  on Saturday instead of Sunday this week and heard an incredible Mom’s Day sermon! You can see & hear it LIVE today online at www.Gatewaypeople.TV (at 9, 10:45 and 12 CT) or you can listen to it this week at www.gatewaypeople.com 

Have a great day and once again THANK YOU all moms.

Ladies, ladies, ladies…why does this news story not surprise me one bit? Drew Peterson was just arrested for the murder of his 3rd wife (previous listed as an accidental drowning). His fourth wife is still missing. And of course, Drew Peterson already has a fiance eager to be wife #5. This is not the first time I’ve known of women who clearly have strong evidence they are literally putting their life in grave danger yet choose to walk like sheep to the slaughter anyway. Think about your own life…are you doing something or pursuing someone in your life right now who you KNOW is dangerous for you, yet you are defiantly loving yourself TOO LITTLE to care?  Let’s just be real, women who do this actually don’t love themselves at all rather they actually hate themselves. If that is you? … If you’ve never felt worthy of love, pick up the good book today and go to the very middle of it and read Psalm 139! You were made for a reason and purpose and are loved by the one who created you! It’s true!

So I did a short talk today on EVE. Remember her?…the one who caused us to have pain in childbirth, oy vey. As I prepared for my talk and reread and reread the few verses she mentioned in, I realized 3 fatal mistakes that led to her downfall. Those 3 choices so often are our mistakes that keep up making wrong choices.

1) EVE was naive. She had not faced a bad guy before that cunning serpent came her way. Do you remember the first con artist you came across? Did you notice that all con-artists are suave, subtle and smoothe? If we stay naive, we will continue to be an open target. Here’s the sad reality: Whether you are an innocent victim or a willful participant, you STILL have to pay the consequence for your actions. That’s unfair, but part of life. Save yourself heartache by wising up. Yes, wise up, open your eyes and pay attention to who is out there,

2) EVE had it all and didn’t know it. That’s the thing, we get caught up in our melodramas and problems that we forget to count our blessings. As Proverbs tells us, we are what we think about most of the time. If you dwell on your problems, you’ll be susceptible to temptation and wrong choices. If you count your blessings you’ll know what you have and not be tempted, even when you face more than you can bear. And you know what? One of life’s saddest stories is finding people who choose a life of misery all because they don’t appreciate what they have. Haven’t you been there after the fact and wished you could go back? “If only I had realized…” is a tale I hear over and over.

3) EVE was alone and stayed there. I’m all for ocassional solitude. That’s healthy. The problem with being alone when temptation and problems occur is STAYING alone and making decisions alone. Eve knew she was loved by her husband and by God and yet when the enemy caught her all alone and proceeded to trick it, she DID NOT call her husband over or call out to God. She stay alone, pondered what the smoothe lies the stranger offered her and acted out, alone. If only we’d call on trusted friends and God when we are faced with “too good to be true” encounters. I promise you, if it sounds too good to be true, most of the time, indeed it is a lie. Surround yourself with girlfriends who genuinely care about you and have your best interest at heart and go to them when you are caught alone and tempted.

Eager to finally get to the place where you make better choices in life and in love? Then stop being naive; Count your blessings even in the midst of the storm; and don’t walk through life alone!