About 3 years ago Marie Osmond arrived in Los Angeles with two of her seven children to visit her best friend and speak to a group of young girls. She had brought her youngest of girls along only because she had this annoying intuition that she HAD to bring her, even tho’ it was going to be very inconvenient to bring a toddler on a business trip. Awaking to the morning news, she quickly saw WHY her intuition kept demanding she bring the child–her home in Utah had caught fire in the night destroying their garage, Marie’s office and the bedroom of the two girls with her–everyone else survived. If she had NOT brought her two little girls on this trip, chances are they would have died in the blaze. This is how this book of memories from Mare’s life opens. All of Marie’s journals she had faithfully written over the years sadly burned in the fire. So when the publishers asked her to write this book she had to sit down to reminisce afresh on memories that helped shape who she is today. The results an endearing look into a real person we can all relate to. She encourages us all to pay attention to our “gut” and intuition as it can prevent us from disaster (i.e. the fire) and to listen to the lessons we come upon at inconvenient and unexpected times to help us make the right choices (i.e the encounter she had with a bitter drunken Shelly Winters, the Oscar winning star, about how she wished SHE had spent more time with her own daughter). There are several mystic encounters Osmond shares which you have to take her word for. She is a woman who passionately believes in her personal faith in her God and has charming stories to share of parenthood, midlife and womanhood.This is NOT an autobiography of her entire life, rather it is glimpses of her life since motherhood , including her divorce from her 2nd husband, with a lot of emphasis on her time on Dancing with the Stars. A throughly fun read–I read the entire book on a cross-country flight and was left wanting even more.

Heather Locklear was arrested near Santa Barbara this weekend for being under the influence of perscription medicine. Of course, USA TODAY gave a false headline of “Heather arrested under a count of DUI.” Be thankful you are NOT a celebrity. Life is hard enough without the scrutiny of your every move–especially in the midst of heartbreak and tough times. Woe to you who judge so harshly as we don’t know the whole story! No celebrity signs on for total loss of privacy. The craziness of the paparazzi has only been in the last 10 years (Locklear has been a star for 20 years). No one desires to be harassed and publicly defamed! Was it illegal for her to drive under the influence of perscriptions. Yes. Like every citizen, she is having to pay the price (the wonderful news is that no one was physically hurt). 

YOU and DEFAMATION of YOUR CHARACTER

All that being said, wow, have you ever been in a messy breakup? You know, the kind when everyone in your circle of friends and HIS family and friends is bombarded with false accusations about you, making you out to be the problem, the crazy one, the “bad guy”, when in fact the truth is the reverse? Very painful and “crazy making”. What can you do when you suffer defamation of character (a legal term for having your reputation publicly shredded)? What can Heather do?

My best advice I can give is actually the hardest thing to do, but in the long run it will pay off. My advice? Take a step back. Breathe. And do NOT defend yourself. If you resort to fighting back and jumping into a “he-said-she-said” game or worse, you will look even more guilty. Step out of the fight for your reputation and heal by mourning the loss, getting help where you need it and surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you. It is in the time of crisis you find out who your friends really are. Perhaps that is what Heather is about to learn.  Here’s to Heather and hoping she has close SAFE friends to help her through this difficult time and if she does have a “perscription problem” that she gets the help she needs in privacy. And here’s to you my readers, may your accusers be exposed for who/what they are in due season. More importantly, may you let go of the fight and move on to take care of you and pursuing the life you were meant to live.

I am in the middle of reading Barbara Walters autobiography AUDITION which I must say I am thoroughly enjoying. After reading her 600 page memoir it will be a shocking day for anyone to accuse her of being one of high moral standards (her multiple affairs are just one example), yet she seems completely unaware that she is lacking in that arena.

The reason for this post however is to bring up the reality that we, as humans, are prown to make impulsive decisions in the midst of tragedy or national crisis which is why doctors and hospital administrators always have you read and sign a document that basically says you will make no legally binding decisions during the next period of time while you recouperate. Barbara Walters had broken up with her longtime boyfriend just 3 months before President Kennedy was shot. Two weeks after that tragic day her exboyfriend showed up saying life is too short, let’s get married and in the midst of emotional and national insecurity they wed. We all remember the reality TV show about the then newlyweds Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey on MTV. But what probably missed much of the public’s attention but certainly not Jessica’s was that she didn’t really love Nick. In fact she had broken it off with him and was in the “getting over him stage” when the planes hit the Twin Towers on 9/11.  In an emotional panicked state she pulled out her phone, called Nick and said “I love you let’s get married.” and they did. Neither marriage worked. (I’m confident, at least at this moment, that Tony Romo is happy it didn’t work out).

How do we prevent making life altering impulsive decisions in the midst of an insecure world? Stay focused on what you want for your life. Stay close to God. And please, don’t run down the aisle and wed on impulse after any national disaster or personal crisis for that matter. Any marraige can wait six months after the engagement, when emotions have settled down and hopefully rational thinking has returned.

Ever get frustrated with your dating relationships? Or shall a say the lack there of? Here’s an excerpt of an article that appeared today which I was interviewed for on Match.com…I Keep Getting Dumped  By Margot Carmichael Lester. Follow these 5 tips and you’ll be on the road to more fulfilling dates (with the bonus of feelings a bit in control at the same time. How’s that for a plus??)

 Have a fun 4th tomorrow.

Wow. I watched the first episode of the new reality show on the E! Channel “Denise Richards, It’s Complicated.” She said she did the show to expose to the world that she is not as bad as all the press makes her out to be. She’s tired of the reputation of one who stole her best friend’s (Heather Locklear’s) husband (Richie Sambora) and the disgruntled wife trying to destroy her husband’s (Charlie Sheen’s) reputation as she takes $40 from his fame.

Sadly, what you see on the show thus far does little to counter her bad press. For example, in Richards media appearances leading up to the show, she makes a big deal that she agreed to do this show because she has to feed her children just like all of us and she didn’t want a nanny raising her kids. That sounded great, but then you see on the show she has her dad, two nannies, and two assistants at her home to help her “raise her kids on her own.” 

I know, it’s complicated for her, and she’s living the mess in her mind so she doesn’t see how ludicrous this appears. To her, with her complicated and unfulfilled life, she NEEDS that much help for two kids, even though she brings about all the complications herself. But then again, she says on camera that she wouldn’t need two assistants if the first one did his f  &”#@%  job. You see it’s not her fault (maybe she doesn’t know that you can fire someone). Then there is her problem with dating and always going for the same type of man who happens to be famous bad boy rockers and movie stars. She shares her male preferences in colorful and descriptive language your child need not be present to hear. Basically she likes the bad boys and can’t help herself, even though by now she admits that all bad boys are serious trouble for her.

It’s really not as complicated as Denise feels. She is just a beautiful girl who is sadly very, very lost. She has so much on the outside and so little on the inside and yet she’s doing every thing she can to try and make it all work and fill that void. She even has 10 dogs, 3 pigs and 3 cats to try and fill her void and even that is not enough. Things, people, bad boys and animals don’t fill empitness inside.

So what is the answer for Denise and every other single woman who is chronically going for the bad boys yet wants to stop the madness? Only YOU can stop the madness for yourself by taking the time to find out what you want and how you got so far away from that. Here’s how: Take your computer or a blank journal off by yourself and ask God to reveal what is truly behind it all, including why you keep going for men you know upfront are really bad for you. There is a reason Denise Richards says she craves a marriage of 37 loving commited years likes her parents had, yet she does everything to avoid the possibility of that happening. Like Denise, for you to find the reason your life is so complicated, you have the willingness to stop and look at your past, your pain, your patterns, and your own choice to participate in what brought you where you are. You play a role in the mess you’re in. We all do.

 No matter how complicated your life, love yourself enough to stop, in a quiet place, and ask God to show you what is going on and to reveal to you steps to get you on track to the life you always wanted. (I promise, God’s plans for you are not boring. You can have an exciting relationship with men who are not bad guys who leave you!)

 For more dating and life secrets, go to my website www.mantokeep.com.

Okay ladies, how do I stop you from rushing into another major mistake right after you come out of a devastating break-up? Today I had to carve out time to write this because yet another client and friend is doing exactly that! They have floated up to the clouds falling instanting in love and commitment. Yes, they’ve followed the common pattern of so many women and jumped into a rebound. When you’ve gone through a devastating break-up, please, for YOU, take a sabbatical from any serious relationship, no matter WHAT, until you heal and grow. This could take six months, a year or more. Do the work on yourself and take as much time as necessary for you to reflect on what happened and to face YOUR role in the break-up and why you were in that mess in the first place.You see, no matter how much the victim you are, there is ALWAYS a role you played in the mess, even if it is merely ignoring blaring red flags early on in the relationship. You have to face your part if you want to prevent it from being repeated in future relationships.

Don’t be like the many hurting women who rush into another relationship only to believe this new man is miraculously God-sent and the answer to everything you need. Trust me, whoever this new man is, he is a REAL person with REAL problems and just as much baggage as you (we ALL have baggage). Don’t rush in and believe he is perfect just because he is not your ex. All that will get you is a future heartbreak when you discover the truth that he is not all you thought he was.

Let time pass, then take any new relationship SLOW, no matter how perfect he seems. Pick up FINDING A MAN WORTH KEEPING and get do the work on yourself to find a man that will be worth the wait! For more dating tips and tactics, pick up my dating books and subscribe free to my blog at www.mantokeep.com/blog.

Do you want to know how to get him back after you’re (temporarily) rejected? Here is my secret that is sure to have your man’s head spinning and you on the way to getting exactly what you want!Just hold your head up high, be cool and let him go when he says he wants out (or just disappears) no matter how much it hurts. If someone doesn’t think they want to be with you, let them have the freedom to experience life without you. What good does that do? Wonders! Trust me. Because your LACK of a screaming bitter fit leaves him doubting his decision to leave. You see when you let him go when he’s gone already, you are just accepting what’s already done rather than fighting what can’t be changed in the immediate here and now. What you GAIN is that your man leaves thinking “Wow, I thought she’d hate me and she’s okay with this? Wow, maybe I was wrong…” No matter how painful letting go is for you, force yourself to be classy in the face of rejection. You leave the door open for him to come back at some point in the future–that might be a week or a year. Either way, when he comes back, you are in the driving seat. You see, you are a magnetic woman who faces your own pain, mourns your loss, then moves on with your life. So when your ex comes back you may or may not want him back depending on where you are in your life at that point. What a great place to be! Believe me that has happened to me on several occasions and you know what? I didn’t want them back when they came back because I was able to see them for who they really were–and they weren’t men worth keeping! To get all my dating secrets sign up for my Newsletter Below or check out my latest book…

The Automatic 2nd Date is the ONLY book on the market that covers every detail about the most important date with any man–the FIRST date, including how to get that first date.