Okay ladies, another one of my clients called in a panic because she had blown it with her man by freaking out on him and throwing a scene. After I heard the whole story it was apparent that she indeed over-reacted and went a little “psycho” over nothing. But I also encouraged her in letting her know that we all have a little psycho in us and we all have blown it before. That doesn’t not mean it has to be the end of the relationship. When you over-react and freak out on your man then, what are you supposed to do when it “hits the fan” so to speak? Here are my 3 quick “get me through this and save me” tips.
1. Breathe. Yes, I mean, stop and take a breathe and calm down so you can gain perspective. Chances are you over-reacted because things have been building up and what you flipped out on had nothing to do with what the real problem is. Also, most likely this is at the height of your menstral cycle when we are all a bit more emotional to say the least.
2. Take the blame and apologize. Yes, I did say apologize. We all blow it at some point. Just cop to the fact that you blew it. You can say something like “I am so sorry. I don’t why that set me off, I’ve been under so much pressure (or stress) and I just lost it. Please forgive me.” A little bit of groveling can go a long way! You will always be the bigger and better person for accepting responsibility when we blow it (even when you feel the other person has some blame in what set you off, you are still responsible for your REACTION to them).
3. Give some space and move on. You may need to bow out for the evening and go home to give some cooling off time. That does not mean the relationship is over. It just means it’s best to add some distance for the other person to accept your apology and hopefully see his part in the conflict. Don’t panic at this stage and no demand he forgive you instantly. You’ve done your part, now let it go and give him space.
So hang in there next time you freak out. Breathe, apologize and move on and you will awake to find out that you survived and most likely, so did your relationship.