We’ve just put our house on the market and have been shopping around for another house. There were certain changes and improvements we wanted to make on the old house and figured it would be easier to trade it in for a new, smaller, more “perfect”-for-us home. After collapsing on our couch back home after a Sunday of looking at new homes, my husband and I had to laugh. Nothing compared to the wonderful layout and space of our current home and in fact, any of the changes would have to be done on the other homes we looked at if we move…and get this…it was my husband who then made the following analogy (hmmm, maybe he would make a good relationship coach too)… Will (my man) pointed out that our disenchantment with our current home is so like many married couples who get caught up in what’s NOT working and decide to look elsewhere into “greener pastures” rather than realize it’s so much wiser to fjust ix what you’ve got. because no matter who the new love it, the relationship still includes YOU.
It’s amazing that it took us looking at other homes to realize how good we’ve got it. Luckily we didn’t sell ours first. I hope you don’t rush out and dump your current relationship the minute times get tough because hard times happen to EVERY person and EVERY relationship because relationships include people!
In 2009 may you count your blessings in your life and love and work on what you can do to appreciate and improve what you’ve got rather than rushing out to exchange your flawed love for someone else. Chances are many of the difficulties your relationship are things that can be worked out if you just try and see both sides of the problem. Afterall, there are two perspectives to everything–yours and his. He may be wrong, but at least try and understand how he came to that conclusion or behavior.
Of all the marriage counseling I did last year, 95% of the problems were common problems in every male/female relationship and not marriage ending conflict. Sadly we are all a bit too narcisistic for our own good. Sure your man may be being a brat right now, but he may just be reacting to you being a needy, unreasonable or just plain nagging. So take a step back, count your blessings and TRY and see his side before you lash out that your needs have not been met. You may find yourself with a remodeled man just by how you change your automatic responses to him! Now that’s an home improvement worth making!