Okay, okay, so most of you come to me for help with your love life. We talk about where to find men, how to get them to ask you out and how to get from date one, to two, all the way down the aisle. But lately a recurring theme is coming up in my coaching sessions, emails and fan letters, so it’s time for me to address the ever important area of friendships with other women!
Why are friendships with other women so important?
1. Women, how we love to talk. That is how we are made. And oh how that detail-oriented, non-stop talking can drive our men crazy. No worries. Girlfriends are great for sharing extreme details of our lives and usually they won’t get bored with your stories as quickly as our men.
2. Girlfriends are great for calling after dates so you can exhaust your excitement, prematurely tell them “this guy is the one for me,” and cover every detail of your moments with him. Why do this? Because if you let your new man know how into him you then you will scare him away before he can call you back. Be cool, share that info your girlfriends and keep your man coming back.
3. Girlfriends are our “elevator people”—people who lift us up and encourage us during the daily anxieties of life. If your friends are bringing you down and chipping at your self-esteem, it’s definitely time to move on from those friends and collect some new ones.
Because girlfriend, we were made for relationships! And when our pool of female friends is lacking to say the least, we find ourselves isolated and discouraged. These are the times in our lives when we find we just need more (or new) girlfriends. It could be that we’re still single and all our friends have married off, or we moved to a new place or we are just in a rut, isolated or hanging out with women who are just plain unhealthy for us. What shall you do?
You don’t have to call up your current friends and cause all this conflict. No. Just pull back and cease to call them all the time. While you pull back on time with these friends, step out to make new ones. Finding new friends can be as intimidating as looking for a man to date, especially since your self-esteem may be at an all time low. So here are my tips on developing more girlfriends to get you through your lifetime.
1. Get involved in your church. If you have been at your church “forever” and are in a rut, check out a nearby church and visit there. A great way to expand the quantity of friends is to visit a mega church near you and attend one of their functions (not just the huge church service where you walk in and walk out without meeting anyone.)
2. Go to your city’s website or one near you (all cities have one, just search Google for your community) and check out the upcoming events, get involved in the chamber of commerce or local charity organizations. Most of these events are run by women “in the know” who know lots of other “happening” women in your town.
3. Try out some hobby you’ve been thinking about. You’re bound to meet like-minded girlfriends there.
Wherever you go, make the most of each visit. Take the initiative and introduce yourself to at least two new women each time. Hey, they may be there for the first time too and they’ll be thrilled someone was nice to them and went out of there way to say, “Hi.”
Building lasting friendships involves time and effort and a willingness to give as much as take. It’s an investment well worth every minute. You were made for relationships ladies. And the time is now!